How to awaken
I have a working hypothesis here. You know when googling palm trees feels like ogling porn? You know when your kid asks “How do you spell poopy,” and you answer him like a Speak and Spell? You know when you stare at your children, squawking and slapping at each other like caged organutangs in a second-rate zoo, and all you can think, over and over, is WTF??? And you just wonder, is any of this madness actually even real?
When you have no idea what to do next, or can’t bring yourself to do the next right thing... When you can’t shake yourself back to life… then what do you do?
I think I’ve found the hack:
First, I think, you rest. You deep-dive into the feeling; you honor it with rest. Take a nap on the hardwood floor.
Next, I think, you explore: You follow a thread. You find something — anything — that gives you even just a teensy jolt of energy… and you run with it. You keep pulling on that thread. You awaken, little by little.
In the midst of cabin fever last month, I baked a cake, just to do SOMETHING, even if it wasn’t what I should’ve been doing. (It was awful. Not the experience; the cake… When you cut yourself a piece of it and held it by the corner, it wobbled like a wrestling mat.) But I felt so, so much better after I made it. It had shaken me from my daze.
A new TV show, a new organizing project, hot water in a peaceful tub, a book you can hold in your hands, a moment out in the snowy, crunchy woods -- even a new shitty cake.
Tug on that thread. Maybe you can knit yourself a sweater.